37 weeks!

Finally 37 weeks and finally considered full-term! Great, now he can come any time and really be able to survive out here. Which is great because I am very ready to get this boy out of here, ready to be a single human being again and not housing another inside. I love my little alien, but I would much rather love him out here than through my stomach. Then again, it is nice knowing he is right there with me and safe all the time. That certainly gives me some peace of mind. But I'm very over the pain every time I sit down, or get up from lying down for a little while or from a night of rest. Ready for the constant pain in my pelvis and ribs to go away. Also just getting very excited for my boy to arrive soon. Glad it's finally November.
So, now I'm just trying to get everything else done and ready for his arrival. Hopefully I can get that all out of the way quickly. I also need to get my bag all packed for the hospital since I will be making my trip there in the next three weeks or so. I'm still figuring out who all I need to call when the day comes, who I actually want to call. Considering making some changes to certain plans, but we'll see how I really feel about those things when the time comes. I'm trying hard not to start stressing too much, or at all. Doing a pretty good job, for the most part. It definitely helps having some certain people around.
I've been becoming a little more upset about changes with my body. More things looking, well, less than ideal lately. I definitely miss my old body, which I was actually quite happy with. I guess this is just one of those things you have to deal with in these situations. And, while it bothers me, I still feel it is more than worth it because now I'm going to have this little boy who's already finally made my life feel like it's worth living. He's my reason. But, I am very ready and excited to get him out and begin my work to getting my body back to how it was, and hopefully even somewhat better than before.
Aside from discomforts and not being so proud of my body these days, I am still very happy. Truly happier than I think I have been in my entire life. And, this time it doesn't feel like I'm just fooling myself, it feels more real than ever. I feel like I'm coming out a real winner. I'm so happy with the way things are going lately. Just about everything in my life seems just right, and the things that really seem just right kind of make up for those other things that don't. I'm really just loving life these days. It's completely indescribable.

32.2

8 weeks away. More or less depending on when he actually decides to get here. I'm becoming increasingly impatient and anxious. I'm just so beyond ready to meet this little person I've been creating. The little alien that never stops moving. The one shoving his elbows and knees out as though he's trying to break through my skin. Plus, as I get closer I get more and more uncomfortable. My entire pelvis, spine, and ribs are constantly aching. If I stand for a little too long my lower back feels like it's about to just shatter. I can't bend over without hurting myself, which has been a problem for the past two months. I also wake up a billion times a night to turn over to the other side since I can only sleep on my sides, and as I get bigger this just becomes that much more of a problem.
Well, I'm finally having my baby shower in just a little over two weeks. Good timing so I can still get whatever else I need afterward and get everything prepared for my little. Any later and I think we would be in a little trouble.
I'm helping myself feel less stressed. Taking my days more in stride. Taking time to enjoy myself. After feeling a bit down for a few weeks I feel like things are really starting to look up again. Aside from the growing discomfort, of course. But, I'm certainly feeling a lot happier. The crazy hormones bringing crazy mood swings have returned with the third trimester; but, I deal. I'm not even exactly sure what's been bringing on these happier feelings - the same things that were bothering me before are still there and still just as bothersome - but, I'm definitely not complaining.
Really, I don't have too much to update, that's about it. I am a little fatter. Everything else is pretty much the same as before. Just getting through the days as I get closer to meeting my baby boy.

30.2

Thursday morning, thirty weeks and two days in to growing this boy. It feels like I have a little alien in there, one who never stops moving. Which, I don't mind one bit. One thing I do mind, is that as the weather is gradually getting a little bit cooler, I am only getting hotter and hotter every day. I'm like a heater, I feel like I'm radiating. I also feel like I'm about to explode out of my skin. I have never been so ready and excited for winter to arrive. I usually dread it, but now I'm practically counting down to it. Maybe then I can finally relax a bit.
I've been becoming increasingly anxious to meet my little man. I seem to daydream a lot lately, daydreaming about life with my son. Being a mom. Things I want to do with him. My anticipation is ever growing. Just about ten more weeks to go, more or less depending on when he decides to make his way out of his current home amongst my guts. Hopefully that day comes quickly.
Throughout this experience I've seemed to grow increasingly attached to my mother - which is difficult because she lives in California while I am over here in Utah. That's probably been one of the hardest things about all of this. I would give anything just to have her with me and be able to have  conversation face to face. Talk to her about my concerns, my excitement, things bothering me, just everything. But, for now I'm glad to know I at least have her support, and her great help whenever I need anything. But anyway, I've also begun to think about while I was in her belly. I wonder how she thought about me, and how much. If she talked to me, sang to me, read to me, or anything like that. I was her fifth, but I wonder if she daydreamed about when I made my way into the world. I compare the things I do and things I think and how I think, and wonder what ways are similar to when she was experiencing what I am now. This just brings up even more things I wish I could sit and talk with her about. But, soon enough - when I move back to California, as I am planning to within months after my boy's birth - I will be able to do these things. So, I just look forward to that.

28.5

Twenty-eight weeks, and five days in. Which converts to, eleven more weeks and two days! While time seems to be passing at a glacial pace, each new week I am in awe at how little time is left. Every day I'm starting to think I grew fatter over night. I have to say, though, even while my stomach becomes more and more rotund with each passing week, I feel more beautiful than ever. I don't get the whole "glowing" thing. In fact, I haven't been too happy at all with my skin since about a month after finding out about this little life growing inside me. On my face it goes back and forth between horrible break outs and then a little bit clearer again, but still with a little acne here and there. And then over my entire body it's just so much more dry. My hair and nails aren't any different, like everyone says they get due to the prenatal vitamins. But, even though I don't have any of those special things other people seem to love about pregnancy, I just feel cute. I even feel like my protruding belly is cute. Even though my belly button looks a bit ridiculous these days; it's laughable, really. I walk with more confidence than ever before. I guess this is also easier with a future that I can actually see a little more clearly now, one that I love. I'm finally not afraid to even think about my future. I'm not afraid of growing up, like I was in the year before I turned eighteen. And, while I always used to say I would have a good future, I feel like now I know - without a doubt - that I will have one. One reason, my first reason, is simply because I will have this little one of mine. Another reason, I finally have the right motivation. I finally have purpose, a reason to actually live this life and really try. Not just to try, but to actually make things happen. I've always been smart, had potential, had hopes and dreams. But, now, I finally feel I can actually turn all those hopes and dreams into my reality. With some effort, of course. But now that I actually have the motivation, I know they are finally within my grasp. I've done a lot of thinking. Made some new life choices. And planned a whole lot. Now, I'm just getting ready. Preparing myself for this ride that is life. And, I can't wait to finally get out there and start really making these things my reality.
But, while I am insanely excited to really get my life going. Our lives going. For now, it's time to start some birthing classes and simply prepare myself for motherhood. As best as I can. Which sounds good to me. For now.

27.3 weeks.

 So, I am 27 weeks and 3 days now.Time for trimester three. I have to say I feel a bit like a champ for coming as far as I have. It has been a pretty easy ride for me, though. Never got the morning sickness, didn't have to deal with any high risk stuff, I've had a pretty easy and normal pregnancy, with the regular little ups and downs. The hormones aren't so much fun, whenever I watch "A Baby Story" on TLC I find myself just about balling my eyes out. And anything someone does that bothers me in the slightest - no matter where I am - I am ready  to bring in a storm, I have no second thoughts on chewing people out for things I think are ridiculous and/or wrong. I could be a little happier if I wasn't so achy all the time. My back kills, my feet always end up hurting by the end of the day and both my feet and ankles end up slightly swollen, and my calves even get achy after spending too much time on my feet. But, it's all made up for when I feel those squirms and bumps from my little boy. Even when he is kicking me in my ribs, punching me in my hips, or pushing on my ribs with his feet jamming his head into my bladder. Even those ones that kind of hurt or make me need to rush to the bathroom, I just can't help but smile. Just the knowledge that he's alive and well is all I need. He is all I need. In just about three short months I will finally get to meet this little guy who is already my whole world and the one thing that never, ever leaves my mind. I will finally be able to hold him in my arms, without skin and uterus wall and amniotic fluid, in the way. And I will finally be able to tell him, face to face and not through the sea inside of me surrounding him, how much I truly love him. The purest, most incredible love I have ever felt for anyone or anything in existence. So, even though I'm ready to go insane stressing about all of the things I have to get done in these last three months he has to house inside me, I have the greatest thing in the world to look forward to. The week, day, hour, and very seconds when I finally, FINALLY get to meet my son. Without a doubt that will be the number one greatest day of my life thus far.

26 weeks, 5 days - and counting.

My name is Stephanie, and I am eighteen years old.

I am currently working on growing my first child. He's a boy, his name will be Nyjah Isaiah, and I can't wait for his arrival! My son is the best, most amazing thing to ever happen to me. I am filled with love; the most pure, indescribable, incredible love I have ever felt, for this little boy. This little boy I haven't even had the great pleasure of meeting yet.

I am single, but I feel that is unimportant. I was not single when I became pregnant, but the father has chosen not to be involved. But, that is a whole other story.

Despite any and all of the bad things that have happened, I am happier than I have ever been. I have all I need as long as I have my little boy. Which I obviously have as he was just kicking me in my ribs no more than ten minutes ago.

Well, this as my introduction, I will be writing more about my pregnancy and things currently going on in my life later. Most subjects surrounding my pregnancy.

So, ciao. For now.