30.2

Thursday morning, thirty weeks and two days in to growing this boy. It feels like I have a little alien in there, one who never stops moving. Which, I don't mind one bit. One thing I do mind, is that as the weather is gradually getting a little bit cooler, I am only getting hotter and hotter every day. I'm like a heater, I feel like I'm radiating. I also feel like I'm about to explode out of my skin. I have never been so ready and excited for winter to arrive. I usually dread it, but now I'm practically counting down to it. Maybe then I can finally relax a bit.
I've been becoming increasingly anxious to meet my little man. I seem to daydream a lot lately, daydreaming about life with my son. Being a mom. Things I want to do with him. My anticipation is ever growing. Just about ten more weeks to go, more or less depending on when he decides to make his way out of his current home amongst my guts. Hopefully that day comes quickly.
Throughout this experience I've seemed to grow increasingly attached to my mother - which is difficult because she lives in California while I am over here in Utah. That's probably been one of the hardest things about all of this. I would give anything just to have her with me and be able to have  conversation face to face. Talk to her about my concerns, my excitement, things bothering me, just everything. But, for now I'm glad to know I at least have her support, and her great help whenever I need anything. But anyway, I've also begun to think about while I was in her belly. I wonder how she thought about me, and how much. If she talked to me, sang to me, read to me, or anything like that. I was her fifth, but I wonder if she daydreamed about when I made my way into the world. I compare the things I do and things I think and how I think, and wonder what ways are similar to when she was experiencing what I am now. This just brings up even more things I wish I could sit and talk with her about. But, soon enough - when I move back to California, as I am planning to within months after my boy's birth - I will be able to do these things. So, I just look forward to that.