32.2

8 weeks away. More or less depending on when he actually decides to get here. I'm becoming increasingly impatient and anxious. I'm just so beyond ready to meet this little person I've been creating. The little alien that never stops moving. The one shoving his elbows and knees out as though he's trying to break through my skin. Plus, as I get closer I get more and more uncomfortable. My entire pelvis, spine, and ribs are constantly aching. If I stand for a little too long my lower back feels like it's about to just shatter. I can't bend over without hurting myself, which has been a problem for the past two months. I also wake up a billion times a night to turn over to the other side since I can only sleep on my sides, and as I get bigger this just becomes that much more of a problem.
Well, I'm finally having my baby shower in just a little over two weeks. Good timing so I can still get whatever else I need afterward and get everything prepared for my little. Any later and I think we would be in a little trouble.
I'm helping myself feel less stressed. Taking my days more in stride. Taking time to enjoy myself. After feeling a bit down for a few weeks I feel like things are really starting to look up again. Aside from the growing discomfort, of course. But, I'm certainly feeling a lot happier. The crazy hormones bringing crazy mood swings have returned with the third trimester; but, I deal. I'm not even exactly sure what's been bringing on these happier feelings - the same things that were bothering me before are still there and still just as bothersome - but, I'm definitely not complaining.
Really, I don't have too much to update, that's about it. I am a little fatter. Everything else is pretty much the same as before. Just getting through the days as I get closer to meeting my baby boy.

30.2

Thursday morning, thirty weeks and two days in to growing this boy. It feels like I have a little alien in there, one who never stops moving. Which, I don't mind one bit. One thing I do mind, is that as the weather is gradually getting a little bit cooler, I am only getting hotter and hotter every day. I'm like a heater, I feel like I'm radiating. I also feel like I'm about to explode out of my skin. I have never been so ready and excited for winter to arrive. I usually dread it, but now I'm practically counting down to it. Maybe then I can finally relax a bit.
I've been becoming increasingly anxious to meet my little man. I seem to daydream a lot lately, daydreaming about life with my son. Being a mom. Things I want to do with him. My anticipation is ever growing. Just about ten more weeks to go, more or less depending on when he decides to make his way out of his current home amongst my guts. Hopefully that day comes quickly.
Throughout this experience I've seemed to grow increasingly attached to my mother - which is difficult because she lives in California while I am over here in Utah. That's probably been one of the hardest things about all of this. I would give anything just to have her with me and be able to have  conversation face to face. Talk to her about my concerns, my excitement, things bothering me, just everything. But, for now I'm glad to know I at least have her support, and her great help whenever I need anything. But anyway, I've also begun to think about while I was in her belly. I wonder how she thought about me, and how much. If she talked to me, sang to me, read to me, or anything like that. I was her fifth, but I wonder if she daydreamed about when I made my way into the world. I compare the things I do and things I think and how I think, and wonder what ways are similar to when she was experiencing what I am now. This just brings up even more things I wish I could sit and talk with her about. But, soon enough - when I move back to California, as I am planning to within months after my boy's birth - I will be able to do these things. So, I just look forward to that.

28.5

Twenty-eight weeks, and five days in. Which converts to, eleven more weeks and two days! While time seems to be passing at a glacial pace, each new week I am in awe at how little time is left. Every day I'm starting to think I grew fatter over night. I have to say, though, even while my stomach becomes more and more rotund with each passing week, I feel more beautiful than ever. I don't get the whole "glowing" thing. In fact, I haven't been too happy at all with my skin since about a month after finding out about this little life growing inside me. On my face it goes back and forth between horrible break outs and then a little bit clearer again, but still with a little acne here and there. And then over my entire body it's just so much more dry. My hair and nails aren't any different, like everyone says they get due to the prenatal vitamins. But, even though I don't have any of those special things other people seem to love about pregnancy, I just feel cute. I even feel like my protruding belly is cute. Even though my belly button looks a bit ridiculous these days; it's laughable, really. I walk with more confidence than ever before. I guess this is also easier with a future that I can actually see a little more clearly now, one that I love. I'm finally not afraid to even think about my future. I'm not afraid of growing up, like I was in the year before I turned eighteen. And, while I always used to say I would have a good future, I feel like now I know - without a doubt - that I will have one. One reason, my first reason, is simply because I will have this little one of mine. Another reason, I finally have the right motivation. I finally have purpose, a reason to actually live this life and really try. Not just to try, but to actually make things happen. I've always been smart, had potential, had hopes and dreams. But, now, I finally feel I can actually turn all those hopes and dreams into my reality. With some effort, of course. But now that I actually have the motivation, I know they are finally within my grasp. I've done a lot of thinking. Made some new life choices. And planned a whole lot. Now, I'm just getting ready. Preparing myself for this ride that is life. And, I can't wait to finally get out there and start really making these things my reality.
But, while I am insanely excited to really get my life going. Our lives going. For now, it's time to start some birthing classes and simply prepare myself for motherhood. As best as I can. Which sounds good to me. For now.